What are addictions?

When we think of addictions, particularly if we are seeking counselling support for addictions, we tend to think of substance abuse and gambling. But addictions are not just limited to these----

Addiction is defined as being addicted to a particular substance or activity and can be a range of behaviours where our ‘feel good levels’ are fuelled by something that we no longer feel able to control the need for.

This includes things like social media, technology, sex, food, and sometimes even exercise. Yes, we can become addicted to good things too. Recently, for any of you that watched the Parental Guidance on channel 9, you might have seen that some parents were spending over 60 hours on their devices. This is far more than most of us work in a week. And so, where do we fit that time in between sleeping, working and if we have kids- spending time with our kids.

This deep dark addiction sometimes occurs because social media can cause a trigger release in our dopamine levels (this is our feel good sensory). Similar to gambling when we have a win. If we post a picture or comment and then we get numerous likes our feel-good sensory increases. It’s our reward system. It feeds off it. What we tend to then do, because it made us feel good, is we go back for more.

Now some of this is not necessarily a bad thing. We all need to feel good about ourselves. However, it can turn into an addiction that impacts on our ‘real-world’ living. This is when instead of being present we engage in behaviours that steal our time from the here and now and the people around us that we care about.

What then happens is we develop a new normal. This new normal feeds on our addiction.

When we are addicted to a substance our previous ‘normal state’ where we appreciated the smell of our next-door neighbours rose garden or eating something tasty or running into a friend down the street, the happy feeling that we got from these interactions dissipates. We were once levelled out in a world of stability. Where our happiness was somewhat predictable. We knew that stepping outside on your way to work and walking past those roses was going to be enough to make you feel something good.

The addiction of the substance created a new level of dopamine, a new euphoria and a new, heightened, sometimes frightening, level of high. Then what follows this is that you drop, often rapidly, well past the level of what was once stable normal, you completely miss the satisfaction of the roses, your favourite chocolate cake and that friend who was always the one to make you smile. You drop past them without even noticing that they existed. And then you wade around in this low trying until you re-take this substance or something similar and again you bypass the previous normal and head right back up.

When you are stimulated to a new artificial high, it robs you of experiencing joy in your everyday life.

Yet that height gets harder and harder to reach each time and therefore you feed it with more substance or different substances in order to keep yourself there because by that stage you have worked out that the low is too much to bear. But it’s inevitable, and it eventually comes every time. Suddenly, you are in a state of wondering why you can’t smell the roses anymore. When you go to reach for those roses or your best friend, all you feel is numbness and emptiness, like you are wading through a black hole, looking for things that used to make you feel good, but instead, they make you feel nothing.

Have you ever heard the saying, 'When you have too much sugar, apples don't taste sweet anymore?' This is fundamentally what it means. The things that used to be sweet are now no longer giving you the same taste, as now you have a comparison point of something greater. If someone gives you $50, you will most likely be happy and content, but if you find out that they gave the person next to you $100, you might not be so happy with your $50 or, at the minimum, ask why they got more.

Now, when we talk about an addiction to something like technology, we are essentially talking about a similar state and reaction. While it may not feel as drastic, it becomes a problem if you can no longer feel the stability of your previous normal. Meaning that one compliment that someone made to you at work that said, ‘I like your haircut’, which once would have made you feel good, means nothing because on social media, you’ve only got 10 likes and you were hoping for 50. It becomes a problem when it steals our time.

So what do you do?

Well, you seek help, you tell someone about it. Often, we are driven towards addiction because we feel lonely and isolated, so connection is a fundamental part of recovery. Whether that is professional or you talk to a friend, someone who can tell you, maybe you need some help.

Be honest. Be upfront and admit to yourself what is really going on. Welcome your mindset to change.

Seeking professional help can help give you that stability and safe space to explore what is happening and work out with you how you are going to help yourself get onto that road towards recovery.

Then you can start saying no to the addiction and start saying yes to yourself.  You start building things that can help you refill your cup again. You fill your cup with strategies, tools and things that you know will help you. You remind yourself that it is going to be hard- but it is going to be worth it.

If you or someone you know needs immediate assistance, the following hotlines are available:

National Drug and Alcohol Hotline: 1800 250 015

GambleAware NSW: 1800 858 858